This story is very tragic, and I hope family members don’t mind me sharing it because we need all types of stories to do justice to our history. Having read family history stories for years now, I know that every family had events like this occur. This post is about the Noffke branch.
A year and a half ago, I wrote about Louisa/Louiza/Louise Rutkoski, who had married my 3rd great uncle, Charles Noffke, back in Prussia–before immigrating to the United States. When they arrived here, they had a son, Herman, and after settling in Kent County, Louise gave birth to a daughter, Clara. The reason I wrote about Louise was that I had discovered through old newspaper articles that on 7 July 1920 she had drowned in Emmons Lake while suffering an acute attack of “indigestion.”
At the time, I didn’t mention a much earlier article I found about Louise, Charles, and Herman. However, coupled with the story of Louise’s death, that earlier article did inspire a poem, called “Half-Naked Woman Found Dead,” that I included in Kin Types.
This is the article I found quite some time ago, published in the Grand Rapids Press in 1893.
At the time I read this article, I was saddened for the whole family, but I saw it as a terror for Louise and Herman.
The other day, I was organizing my files on this family and made a little stop at Genealogy Bank to recheck the articles. They have changed the site, and I’m not familiar with it yet. It seems to me that some articles are no longer easy to find, but one I had never seen before popped up.
It’s not only a tragic story in its own right, but it happened a year and a half before Herman put a stop to Charles’ violence. I can’t help but wonder if the event sparked a worsening state in Charles, his emotions, and brought about or increased his drinking.
My great-great-grandmother, Alwine Noffke Waldeck had only two siblings (that I know of), brothers Charles and August. What could have happened in 1891 to send Charles into a state where his violent actions were recorded in the local newspaper?
This is what I found about brother August in the 22 May 1891 issue of the Grand Rapids newspaper, The Evening Leader.
Look at that sensational headling: SHOT THROUGH THE BRAIN. Then the subtitle: August H. Noffke Commits Suicide After Threatening His Wife. So when Charles came home and “proceeded to make things lively,” endangering his wife, son, and the brindle cat, his only brother had somewhat recently been extremely intoxicated and killed himself.
If you read the whole article, you will see that there are two sides to this story–or maybe three. Was Mary Mueller/Miller Noffke mentally ill, cruel, and a nag, causing an unemployed depressed man to finally take his own life? Or was August abusing her and she was trying to put a stop to it through the courts when he got drunk and violent? Did he truly kill himself or did she shoot him? What really happened in that family–and what happened that day?
The way the article ends does try to slant the story against Mary with her cavalier attitude toward August’s death and funeral.
Of course, I’ve only found three (not four!) Noffke children: Maria, Otto, and Emma. I have no idea what happened to any of them except that Otto got married when he was twenty in Montana where he was living at the time and Maria (called Anna) married a man named Benson and ended up living in Illinois (but her body was returned to Michigan for burial). After such a dysfunctional upbringing and the suicide of their father, I’m a little worried about what happened to August’s four children.
One last thing. When I was researching Maria Anna Noffke, I found her death record–and on it was the only mention I’ve ever found of a birth place in Europe for the Noffkes–the birthplace of her father, August. I had already been told by a professional German genealogist that the Noffke surname could be found in Pomerania, so I hoped I would eventually find them there. And that’s what has happened. It lists a place called Schwitzkow. I couldn’t find this place anywhere. But then a man on the Prussian Genealogy group on Facebook identified it: http://gemeinde.schwetzkow.kreis-stolp.de/. This was in Pomerania. I don’t know how big it was when the Noffkes immigrated from there in the 19th century, but in 1925, there were about 300 people and about 56 residences! TINY! And everyone was Protestant–no Catholics or Jews at all. Schwetzkow lies 57 miles west of Gdansk (Danzig), and I have seen that name mentioned somewhere in my years of searching my Prussian branch. But do you think I can now remember where I saw it? No . . . .
The Family Kalamazoo 
Sad story that are often untold.
I agree. I had no idea and I doubt anybody else in the family knows this either.
Interesting stories… I like the post but feel sad for the stories. In every family there are similar stories and some even written up in the newspapers such as these. I think it is important to have these stories recorded for the future generation, so that they may get a better feel of the family dynamics and why they are the way they are. These two particular stories are also important for historical value, because they show one of the reasons the prohibition movement took hold in the country and why the law was passed.
Thank You for posting this, for the future generations.
Jose from Clarkston, Michigan
I agree with you about learning from our own family history, but also from the family histories of others. And your comment about prohibition is really interesting. And my genealogically-based mind wants to know if this was a problem brought from the old country or if it was a response to the stresses in the U.S. I didn’t really tie it together, but when I discovered that Charles and August were born in such a tiny town in Pomerania and then immigrated to the U.S. I couldn’t imagine it wouldn’t have a big effect on them in some ways.
oh my, what a story and I was struck by the twist in the account of Mary, actually I was reading it, I instantly thought could Mary have killed him and ran out after being threatened? I’m hoping the research into this story and family can continue.
That was one of my first thoughts, too. After all, I was very affected by the movie The Burning Bed with Farrah Fawcett! She was so good in that movie. But then I was thinking how in the world she would have been able to get the gun away from him, but that could be explained by imagining that he didn’t have the gun, she did. But then how could she get that close to him to shoot him there unless he was asleep? Does it seem as if the neighbors SAW her in the yard before the gun was fired?
You are so right that a full history includes all the stories, even the sad ones. Well told.
Thanks so much, Pancho. I’m hoping you come back to blogging!
What an awful story. And you’re right—two different perspectives on Mary. My own inclination says that men often blame women for being insane and driving them to drink and violence, but there is no excuse for being violent to your wife. And if the coroner ruled it a suicide that quickly, I really wouldn’t question whether Mary was his killer. The gun must have been placed very close to his head, and the police and coroner must not have believed it was possible for Mary to have murdered him given the evidence. So I think August was depressed, drinking too much, and threatening Mary. I believe her version of the story.
It also sounds like alcoholism and abuse ran in that part of the family (and sadly, aren’t they all too often linked together?).
Why, you sound like a lawyer, my dear ;)! In the main, I think you are right. After all, this story fits the profile in a lot of ways of the kind of stuff we hear today. The threat of the courts might have been the last straw for him. And he could have been really out of his mind from too much alcohol. But does it depend on if the neighbors saw her in the yard before the shot was fired? Because otherwise he could have been asleep and she shot him up close, right? I can’t imagine that their forensic tests were all that great, in 1891 and a small town. I am troubled, though, by the end of the story. If he were to blame, it’s really lousy to make it look like she’s a problem at the end. But she does she seem very cavalier, sociopath-ish, at the end. And is it true that she abused the children? What the children witnessed over time would be the most important story of all.
There certainly are unanswered questions. But I’d keep in mind how sexist things were in 1891—reporters and lawyers were all men. Which is why I am willing to bet that the coroner, a man, would have been happy to leave the case open for an accusation against the wife if there was any evidence of wrongdoing on her part. Perhaps you will learn more as you look for information about the kids. (And I’ve been called worse than a lawyer….!)
Haha, you crack me up, Amy. I agree with you about the sexism. That was why I went where I did with the poem about Louise.
I have to go re-read it!
So sad.
Very very sad, not just for the principals, but for those poor kids.
Thank you for sharing this. There are so many family skeletons in each of our own closets.
Thank you, Becky! I checked out your new blog!
Chilling story!
Yes, and tragic.
Mary does seem to have a cavalier attitude toward her husband’s death, but my first husband was abusive, and I can understand. When the Late and Unlamented had a heart attack (and everybody who knew him was surprised he died a natural death!) my first reaction was “well, thank goodness THAT’S over”. The shock and a certain amount of sorrow came later.
As for her cooking dinner – the kids had to be fed, and who else was going to do it. Cows need to be milked no matter what, wood needs to be carried in, etc. You just knuckle down and do it.
If he had worn her out with abuse, I agree that that could explain her attitude. Also, what needs to be done makes sense. I am not willing to say he was an alcoholic or that he was abusive over a long period of time without more information especially since someone (his lawyer . . . ) said she was abusive to both him and to the CHILDREN. But I would say it’s more likely that it’s true that he was an alcoholic and abusive. I’d like to hear from the children–or the children of the children.
It is hard to see the stories that sometimes make up our family tree. Although I have not found articles about domestic violence, I do have my fair share of stories. My brother that passed away this summer had to deal with a mental illness. From witnessing his ups and downs, i truly believe my father was bipolar too and self medicated wit alcohol. He was abusive when he drank and although he stopped drinking for a time, he fell off the wagon and eventually left us. Unfortunately, people did not understand this illness. In fact, we still are discovering new information about this issue. Hang in there lady!
Ann Marie, thank you so much for sharing your family story here. I think it’s so helpful for us all to hear these stories. We know we are not alone, that our families are not alone, and it does help to learn from “experience.” I’m so sorry about your brother and your father. xoxo
Thank you. It does help. Witnessing my brother’s illness gave me empathy for my father. As an adult, I am beginning to understand his own demons. And unfortunately, no one wanted to talk about mental illness in those days. Even when my brother was diagnosed, we kept it quiet to protect him because of the stigma. Thankfully, society, for the most part, has stopped shaming those who suffer from this disease.
It is changing, but not enough yet. And there sure isn’t enough help available.
We still have a long way too go. When we discovered that he had cancer, he was at stage four, and his doctor was on vacation. The on call doctor and the case manage at the hospital treated my brother horribly. They were going to dismiss him, and when we asked questions on how to care for him, the doctor told us, “You Medicaid families need to learn that we don’t do everything for you. You need to take care of your brother.” All we wanted to know was about his meds, his care, etc. We never said we didn’t want to take care of him. He wanted to die at home, and we wanted to honor his wishes. Because of his medical condition, Dave was on SSI and Medicaid. And they made it clear, they didn’t want to take care of him or the family because he was on assistance. Someday, I will write about this, but right now, I am not ready.
This is not the first time I’ve heard of this kind of treatment. It’s beyond upsetting. I understand. Sending you hugs!
Wow, what a tragic set of stories, Luanne! That last article really made Mary seem horrible. I wonder if you can dig up any additional information, like the divorce filing maybe?
Thanks, Amberly. I have a call into the archives where some divorce records are stored from kent County for before 1918. I don’t have a lot of hope since only some are there and since it was filed, but not executed. I’ve been rereading the article over and over, and I am becoming less inclined to agree with Amy as I did before, that it was likely “just” a case of August’s alcoholism, spousal abuse, and suicide. It does sound as if Mary had a mental illness of some kind. I can’t even imagine how awful it would have been to be committed if she had been, but then what went on in that family?!
It’s so difficult to get to the truth in this kind of situation. One of my genealogy “students” has become quite expert in her own right. She has uncovered a very horrid tale of a family that was torn apart over and over again. The mother was committed to the insane asylum a few different times, but the father was also sent to jail for molesting his own children. This was at the turn of the 20th century. Several of the children were also committed in later years. You could really hypothesize a case in either direction – mental illness added to existing struggles or that mental illness followed sexual abuse. She just keeps digging and finding more and more information, but it isn’t really leading to a clear set of facts. Good luck parsing everything out. It’s not easy, but I hope that in the end you find peace with their stories.
Oh my, what a horrific story, Amberly! it’s like the chicken or egg, which came first. It’s so hard to tell, but it’s all wrapped up together. Divorce was difficult, so if one spouse had a serious problem, what was the other to do? It would affect him/her, for sure. And thank you for your good wishes for me with this story.
That is exactly what I was thinking about the chicken and the egg – I almost wrote that in my comment. It really is hard to understand character, motivation, and intent without some sort of legacy of information passing down. And even then, we don’t necessarily get much of the truth.
I have always taken the family stories I got from grandpa as the truth because they told in obvious sincerity. And he was usually right, but there were a few things that weren’t quite so and a lot he didn’t know. I also think he knew things he didn’t pass on.
What sad stories. Unfortunately, these kind of things still happen. I am not an expert or anything but I believe Mary was innocent, or at least not a murderer. Being a very difficult wife does not equal a woman who murders or brings on suicide. Maybe his life plus alcohol, plus a terrible marriage led to suicide. Back in those days – I think anyway – divorce was not as available as today – not to say it is easy, but more possible than back then. In any case – death whatever the cause or reasons is very sad. I admire your commitment to tell this kind of story. Thank you – Spyro
Well put, Spyro: “being a difficult wife does not equal a woman who murders or brings on suicide.” I do believe she was difficult, but August obviously had his own very serious issues!
Hi, Luanne. Wow. What a powerful story. The news article was biased against Mary. You know this situation happened more than we’d like to admit.
I keep going back and forth between “whose fault,” but really it’s probable that they both had major issues and that people around them knew there was trouble for a long time. I know that this is the time period when women were still confined to mental institutions for many “reasons” other than mental illness. Thanks for reading and weighing in Patti!